Tuesday, July 29, 2008

An old Dream

This is a dream I had about a year ago...

So I just woke up from a dream. One of those dreams that seems so real until you look closely at the details and realize "Hey I'm fucking dreaming."

So I'm rocking out and partying with some friends, pretty much having a good time, but nagging me in the back of my head is the fact that the girl I'm with is acting all cold and distant. (Okay first off the girl in question in my dreams is never a specific girl, either real of fictitious, she's always sort of an amalgamation of women I know, it's kinds creepy and it makes all kinds of sense at the same time.)

Needless to say her distance isn't too much of a problem at first after all it's a cool ass night hitting the bars, just acting rockstar.

But things start to mellow out and get to that point in a night when a guy likes to have a special someone give him a hug or snuggle against him, not like end of the night, but sort of that "hey I know you, we're going to leave here together, let me get a kiss" kinda time. But no, she's acting like shes got better things to do, and i get that distinct feeling she's playing games. (BTW: I hate women who play those little "jump through my hoop" games. It's so tacky. It's like rewarding a dog for doing a trick and smacks of reward for payment. I can get that from a hooker.)

So I turn to Jonny Rotten and Sid Vicious (see I told you it was a dream), and they start laughing at the whole situation and Sid punches David Bowie in the face.

Anyways I realize that she (the girl I'm with) is playing these games because it makes her feel all gooey inside knowing that I'm frustrated. It also dawns on my dreaming mind that women have this habit of doing things (all kinds of things; some smart, some stupid) in an attempt to get any visible emotional response out of a guy. Some women start fights with their guy just to know that he can be angry. Some will get melodramatic to get their guy to show some form of caring. (Note: Remember this was all in a dream so I'll plead insanity on anything held against me.) I then realized she wanted me to make her feel special the whole night, not just rock out.

And that's when it dawned on me, why the fuck should I have to treat her any different they I had been? I mean hell she was with me how much more special does she need to feel? Doesn't being with me count for shit. Fuck making a girl feel "more" special when I'm around. I'm not there to build up her self-worth and self-esteem. I'm there as proof that those things do exist in her.

Once all this hit me (and it hit the dream me and the real me at the same time), Jonny and Sid quit beating on Bowie and they all started singing "fat Bottom Girls" (thats what I get for leaving my music running while I slept).

So I think the moral of this dream is not really as harsh as it came across. But a cautionary warning to myself. I think I understand it and maybe, just maybe it will help me out in the long run.

To any ladies I may offend, get over it! It was a dream.

Peace!!! (I'm going back to sleep.)

Pretty weird.

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